I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
