they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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