You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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