I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
