i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
