he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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