just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
