We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
