No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
