Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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