Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
