Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
