If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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