At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
