He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
