i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Let's paint friendship bongs
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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