yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
