she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
