Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
