Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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