i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
