its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My bed smells like the plague
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
