Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
