No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
