Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
