so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
