oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
