That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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