This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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