I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
