i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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