I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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