Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im holly from the hills drunk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
