I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
