i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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