Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
