it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
