What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
