I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
