you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
