honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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