I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
