I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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