And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
