You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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