It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
