these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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