we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
MIDGETS
????
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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