I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
