last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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