the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
