thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
