It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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