there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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